We may never live together again

(Of friendship & growing up)

A thought that scares me immensely
As the day that I have to come in the face with my reality is around
Something tells me of the smug smile that the reality wears
Like a bowtie worn on a neatly pressed white shirt
I know it’s the dawn of well-nurtured fears
For another chapter in this brief life of mine
Has made it to its concluding lines
I don’t run out of ink this time
It’s just my wishful thinking

I think as my thumb listlessly scrolls through my bog-standard Instagram
That I gotta put up my best face today
And not let fear get its way
A random person smiles at their phone
I may have liked their post
I am a teeny bit excited too
I was often told that our fear is our driving force
There are no beginnings without endings (I know, cliche)
Conversely, though, there can't be an ending that doesn't entail a beginning
You know as well as I do
These aren't just some fictional theories we are reluctant to accept
But those naked facts we have purposely mastered escaping
With our happily-ever-afters and fairytales
In the constant pursuit
Of love, dreams, and alleged magic

It's 1.30 pm & my alarm rings
A sound that binds me with absurdity
I've never heard it before
As I religiously try drifting my way into sleep again
My brain does what it does best
I think about the impossibility of truly realizing our dreams if we just kept dreaming
I know that's my calling

I wake up, my t-shirt still smells fresh
A jasmine scented fabric conditioner bizarrely makes my day
Or was it lavender?
I am ready to put up my best face
Life is but a bittersweet string
Of stories
Of beginnings and endings
Of timeless friendships
Of growing up apart and growing old together
Of living a little bit more every day
Even if the world comes to a halt, we know
Of its resumption